5 Minutes to Kickoff: An Exclusive Interview

Last week we sat down with Mike Donovan and discussed #stats, Rifer, and Damian Lillard. This week we spoke with the guys over at 5mTKO.com, Roberto and Nevets. In order to make them feel more comfortable with the interview, we set up a Skype conference call, cracked open a brew, and got to work.

D&C: You’ve released over 100 podds in the past few years. What prompted you to start "5 Minutes to Kickoff" (5mTKO)?

Nevets: I've been a big fan of all different types of podcasts since the moment I discovered iTunes. In regards to soccer shows the original inspiration dates to the old "107 Reports" that Obi would produce. When those faded out, the Timbers "fan" voice went quiet for a number of years. Although not as well done as what Obi did, I feel "5 Minutes to Kickoff" does a decent job keeping the Timbers discussion going throughout the season from a supporters’ perspective. 

Roberto:  Nevets bought me a beer. The next thing I knew he started recording.

D&C: Interesting. So does that mean I owe you a beer, too? Regardless, 5mTKO does do a good job keeping the discussion going, especially during the offseason.

D&C: How cold does the basement of Providence Park get at night? You still live there, right? 

Nevets: I've only ever been in the basement once, back when it was named PGE Park. It's a bit fuzzy now but it was after a halftime wheelbarrow race and on the way back to the stands I got separated from the group and ended up in the baseball equipment room. English Rick still has the Portland Beavers umbrella as proof. 

D&C: What is a “Portland Beaver”? Oh, never mind.

Roberto:  It is colder than the look Caleb Porter gives to reporters when they question his tactics. 

(Caleb Porter postgame presser after Timbers' 4-3 loss vs. Vancouver Whitecaps, Brian Gjurgevich. Watch it.)

D&C: You plug a different beer during each of your podcasts…which do you recommend for the listeners? 

Nevets: Product placement is important to our podcasting fame and fortune. The big complaint from our listeners last year is we sounded much too sober to be talking about the Portland Timbers. We must admit too many shows were recorded empty handed. <product placement>This year we promise to open many PDX beers on the podd with our Resource Revival bottle openers</product placement> 

Roberto:  I recommend all of them. Just keep them away from Nevets.

D&C: Personally, I like Elysian. But what do you recommend for our <21 audience? 

Nevets: I suggest keeping 5mTKO podds away from children and keeping children away from Timber Greg. 

Roberto: Get Kalif to make you a fake id. He needs the work.

D&C: Good advice as usual, Nevets. Roberto, you must not have read that Kalif is trialing with Vancouver…did you delete your Twitter account or something? Get with the times!

*At this point, we asked them a series of rapid-fire questions to which they had to respond as quickly as possible*

D&C: Puma or Umbro? 

Nevets: 2001 OregonLive.com Timbers Umbro kits all day. [Nevets was rocking his Scott Benedetti at the moment and Roberto was in his Brian Winters limited edition.]

Roberto: Whatever is trending on #KitNerd

D&C: Green or Gold? 

Nevets: Green. We always share our love for the Son's of Ricky. Meet me at the sunspot. 

Roberto: Whatever is trending on #KitNerd

D&C: Horizontal or vertical stripes? 

Nevets: Red Stripe. 

Roberto: Whatever is trending on #KitNerd

D&C: Taco Bell’s Chalupa or Crunchwrap? 

Nevets: Never, but The Ratskeller in Govy does a great Taco Tuesday. 

Roberto: Do they still have a fryinator at the Bullpen?

D&C: The correct answer to that last question was “XXL Chalupa”, but I’ll have to try The Ratskeller’s tacos sometime soon. But getting back to the basement of Providence Park…do they ever leave leftover Tillamook Cheese for you, or do the feral cats get to it first? 

Nevets: Has anyone seen Mia?

Roberto: I hear the food in the press box is delicious.

D&C: So they don’t even feed you? You poor things. Alright, here’s a scenario: If you got free Season Tickets for the Timbers, and free transportation to and from each game, but you had to get a tattoo of the Seattle Sounders logo and keep it visible, would you do it? 

Nevets: Dumb question. You know my answer. I rather drown in the Puget Sound. 

Roberto: I already have a tattoo of Darren Sawatzky's face on my chest. Does that count?

D&C: What has been your favorite Timbers season, and for what reasons?  

Nevets: Good question. So many seasons to choose from for so many different reasons. Have to say 2004, that summer was crazy with Josh Saunders in goal and Hugo feeding assists to the scoring machine of Alan Gordon and Byron Alvarez. It was a time when coach Bobby Howe considered his players odd if they DIDN'T stop by the Bitter End to say hello after a match. If you want to learn about Timbers legends take a look at that 2004 roster. A great group. 

Roberto: I enjoyed the snot out of the 2002 season. Fadi and Tennyson both scored 18 goals. Chugger Adair was legendary.

D&C: That’s what we’re all about here at Dran and Clon Say Things: dumb questions followed by good questions. I’ll have to educate myself on those rosters. Please describe your podd co-host in 5 words, with one of the words starting with the letter Q:  

Nevets: <Quasi> about the Portland Timbers. 

Roberto: Smarter than a quahog

D&C: Close enough, Roberto. How has recording podcasts changed your outlook on life, the universe, and everything? Possible answers include “More optimistic”, “Life’s tough”, and “Needs more cowbell.” 

Nevets: I'm more optimistic that the start of the season will make my life tough because Diego Valeri and Will Johnson are sidelined. To overcome the Timbers Army needs more capos like Cow Bell.

Roberto: It has allowed me to retire early and live off the riches.

D&C: Please list your all-time favorite Timbers in the following categories: 

D&C: Goalkeeper: 

Nevets: Matt Napoleon. The dude was a fantastic shot stopper. His halfway line attack that led to a 90th minute goal was legend. The original sweeper keeper. 

Roberto: Cole Burgman. His dad used to post on SCUSA. 

D&C: Midfielder:

Nevets: Diego Valeri. The most talented Timbers player since the 1970's. 

Roberto: Brian Winters. The most talented Timbers player since Ben Somoza

D&C: Best Hair: 

Nevets: Goalkeeping coach, Mike Toshack. I don't know how he does it. 

Roberto: There's only one Sancho!

D&C: Smallest Shin Guards:

Nevets: Wouldn't that have to be Alex Nimo? 

Roberto: Tie: Tommy Poltl and Tony McManus

D&C: Most Willing to Engage with Fans: 

Nevets: Shawn Saunders. Always chatty after bumming smokes off Finnigan and liked to talk tactics with me on those long Trimet rides to Club 205. 

Roberto: Lovel Palmer's use of social media was endearing

D&C: Colombian with Cornrows and a Large Smile: 

Nevets: Karaoke madman Dylan Tucker-Gangnes. Ever seen him do "One Love" at Chopsticks during last call? #Legend

Roberto: Kris Boyd

D&C: Those were all great answers, but I would’ve gone with Diego Chara for probably all of them.

D&C: We thank Roberto and Nevets for talking with us today, and please head over to their website to listen to their podds! They just released Episode #105! They also have a list of legal live streams from all around the world.